Whenever they ask you to describe your life…

… I think this reply would do:

“My life is one of those YOU HAD TO BE THERE jokes.”


My mind?

My mind is like lighting…
One brilliant flash… then its gone…

Life? Hot bath!

Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

An apple a day…but not if…

An apple a day keeps the doctor away…
But if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit!

Expected it?

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

A reflection of…

Boy: Hi can we be friends?
Girl: No!
Boy: Come on I’m rich.
Girl: Hi I’m Claire, 22 yrs old, single.
Boy: My name is rich…26 yrs old…can we meet for dinner?
Girl: Sorry I don’t talk to strangers.

No boat?

How come when people ask you “What three things would you bring with you on a desert island?” no one ever replies, “A Boat”?

Grow up?

How come people tell you to stay a kid for as long as you can… yet the moment you do something childish or immature, they immediately tell you to grow up.


Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?

My driving is…

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said “Parking Fine”.